THE GOOD NEWS IS, if you are a proponent of online gambling, there is a whole bunch of new initiatives being submitted to Congress by various House Representatives, namely Barney Frank (Democrat-Massachusetts), Shelley Berkley (Democrat-Nevada), Robert Wexler (Democrat-Florida), and now Jim McDermott (Democrat-Washington).
THE BAD NEWS IS, the names of these proposals designed to reverse the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA) are getting harder and harder to remember, let alone pronounce.
Any bookie will tell you the UIGEA was doomed to fail from the very beginning; it’s a lousy name. So how are Democrats dealing with the Republican’s dulled approach to eradicating one of the most cutting-edge industries in the world? Well, so far they have at least been coming up with better names for their proposed bills.
Take, for example, Barney Frank’s Internet Gambling Regulation and Taxation Enforcement Act of 2007 (IGRTEA) pronounced ‘urg-tee.’ Or how about Shelley Berkley’s Internet Gambling Study Act (IGSA), which hopes to fund a 12-month online poker study, focusing primarily on combating the serious matters concerning underage gambling. Even Republicans can pronounce ‘IGSA’ – albeit using three syllables.
Just last week, Robert Wexler introduced his Skill Game Protection Act (SGPA). Though not as easy to say as IGSA, it’s a hell of a lot friendlier than UIGEA (pronounced ‘you-ig-ee-ya’). The latest politician to ante up in what’s fast becoming a wheeling and dealing battle for the hearts and clubs and spades and diamonds of Americans is Jim McDermott. The Democrat from Washington just proposed his Safe and Secure Internet Gambling Initiative (SSIGI) whereby online poker games would be subject to a 2% tax. Poker proponents are already reacting enthusiastically to McDermott’s bill though it’s still too early to determine whether the positive reaction is a show of support for the 2% tax or its easy-to-pronounce acronym, SSIGI.
Regardless, just in case none of these new names of bills fail to get the UIGEA overturned, I came up with some of my own names:
Gamble All You Wish And in The Comfort of your Home (GAYWATCH)
Gaming and Gambling Act (GAGA)
Tax Online Gambling Act (TOGA)
Congressmen Regulating Online Casinos (CROC)
Tax and Regulation Act (TARA) as in supermodel Tara Banks